ugh. i hate boys.

[→izzehkins←]

well, i have another problem with a boy. no he's not my boyfriend. but here's how it went down:

so, we made a presentation, and he wanted the thesis to be that the book was propoganda for survival of the fittest (he's HIGHLY christian and DOES NOT BELIEVE in evolution) so we all were like NO RICHARD. BUG OFF.

but another group had a thesis like that, so even though we all vetoed him, he decides that it's a good idea to tell me that i suck.

and this wouldn't bother me so much except for precedence. because my last boy problem was with my ex. we were best friends, except for all the incidents where he told me to suck it up and stop whining when i told him i wanted to kill myself.

ANYWAY. so this other boy, his name is sam, he went to georgia for a week. and I'd been going through a lot of depression lately, but when he left, i was fine. i got scared.

and he was dating my friend anna at the time, so we were all teasing him because he is RIDICULOUSLY clingy, but it was me he decided to tell, shut up or i'll fucking blow up at you. we were ALL teasing him, but he picked on me. and that was he did EVERY TIME.

and also, there's another friend, tori, who did almost the same thing. several times. and the last time, she told me she didn't care if i killed myself, so i don't associate good things and friendship with all this.

so anyway, i have a problem with being the scapegoat. and he decided it would be hilarious to deny my friend request on facebook, so i sent him this:

Izzy Fry August 26 at 4:28pm
look, why do you have this problem with me? what did i do to you? you pick on me specifically - yeah, i wasn't the only one or even the first one to veto your thesis, so piss the hell off - you deny my friend request because you think it's funny - and since you know me, it probably means that you actually have a problem with me - you act all weird and never talk to me unless it's necessary...i just don't get it.

and he replied:

Richard Meyer August 27 at 5:52pm Report
gosh... i was just kidding when i denied you...... honestly. i dont have any issues with you. you have no right to be pissed at me either. friends pick fun at each other.

so i told him:

Izzy Fry August 29 at 10:30pm
oh, we're friends? that's funny, according to tori you were quite happy to bitch about me at that debate tournament the friday of the ultimate truths about how i 'brag about being depressed'.

And you were fine with telling julie about the whole cheating fiasco, but not me. Does that scream 'friends' to you?

Honestly, I have no idea what you think of me. So if we're friends, it would be nice to know that you don't just tolerate me because i'm friends with jenny and julie.


and i don't know what to do about him T_T.

and if you need more details about any of the incidents, i know i didn't go into huge detail. so go ahead and ask.

[ADMIN ACCOUNT]

Aw, that sucks Izzy. Friendships are really hard to figure out, that I can at least have some input on. I may never have had a boyfriend and therefore can't really give my input on that sort of thing, but I've had plenty of friends and lots of... incidents with them.

It sounds to me like you definetly have a right to be angry with him, there's no reason why you should put up with is crap, teasing you and being rude and talking about you behind your back. I don't know how much you like this guy or enjoy being friends with him, but if I was you I think I'd certainly try and take a step back from your friendship and just let things cool off a bit. Like, being around him, but not going out of your way to tease him or talk to him or piss him off or whatever.

and if a person that was supposed to be my friend told me in all seriousness that they didn't care if I died/commited suicide, you can be sure that I wouldn't be friends with them.

Bringing up that subject, it doesn't matter how depressed you are. That's not the answer. Never is and never will be. This I do know for sure. A couple years ago that was exactly what I wanted and thought about all the time. I'd gone through some really tough crap that I'd not like to discuss, and I was literally ready to dig my own grave and bury myself in it. Whatever happens, you can't pick that option, because even though it may not seem like it, it does get better. No instantly (unfortunately), but gradually over years if you get yourself away from the people who make you feel bad, and away from the places and things that depress you.

I dunno, kind of went on a rant there.

Overall, I can't say that there's an easy solution, because there isn't, but you have to do something about it, even if that something is pushing those people away a bit, you know?

Err, I'll shut up now.

[→izzehkins←]

Yeah, I know I should let things cool off, and I want to, because he is like the twin of my ex >< they both drive me absolutely nuts.

and me and tori aren't friends anymore, btw. i told her to never speak to me again, so.

and i know. I stopped, i threw all my stuff away. i'm not going to kill myself, because of an...incident over the summer that made me promise i wasn't going to do it anymore.